A Common Piece Of Life Advice That Is Horribly Misleading

But Not For The Reason You Might Think

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A Common Piece Of Life Advice That Is Horribly Misleading

But Not For The Reason You Might Think

As you go through Life, you'll hear many Pieces of Advice.

Many of them are Common to Hear.

Yet, just because it is "Common" Does Not Mean it Works.

In fact, if Common Advice Worked...

More People would have Success in their Lives.

However, Most Common Advice is Wrong or Misleading.

Want an Example?

Let's take this one...

The Common Advice That Is Misleading

Stay True to Yourself.

There are many ways you might hear this piece of Common Advice.

Follow Who You Are.

Don't Compromise Your Identity.

Be Consistent With Who You Are.

Now, you might see or hear this and ask...

What is Wrong with it?

Is It “Wrong”?

If we are getting "Technical"...

Nothing.

The Advice "Technically" makes Sense, and "Can" even be Positive.

So, then what is the Problem?

It makes an Assumption that is Usually Not True.

For the Vast Majority of People...

This Piece of Advice becomes Extremely Misleading.

"Not" because it is "Wrong"...

But because in Reality, Most People Do Not Know "Who" They Are.

How It “Is” Misleading

99.99% of the People I've Met over the Years Do Not Know Who They Are.

Most of them "Think" they Do of Course.

I have been the Same.

As Humans, when we Meet Each Other, We "Introduce" Ourselves.

We give a Version of Our Identity when we do this.

"Hello, my name is..."

"I do X Job".

"I'm a Parent to Y Kids/Pets".

"I'm the Child of Z Parent".

"I do V for Fun".

But these Common Cookie-Cutter Answers are Frequently Both Wrong and Nowhere Near the True Identity of the Person I'm Meeting.

The Reality is that Who You are is Significantly More than Your Name.

Most People do a Job that they Will Not Keep Most of their Lives.

Any Role You Hold in Life Can Change and Does Not Fully Define You.

Who You Are Is More Than What You Do.

The Identities We Carry

When I work with Clients, I introduce them to the Ten Categories of Identities that we All Hold.

Most People only Know Four or Fewer of those Categories.

We All also hold Multiple Identities "Within" Each of those Categories.

Which becomes extremely Problematic when you look at the Advice...

Stay True To Yourself.

Well, Which Part of Yourself?

Are You Following an Identity You Chose or One that has been Given to You?

Do you Even "Like" The Identities You Have?

What Happens when there is a Conflict between Identities?

Do you Follow the Identity You Know?

Or One of the Many You are Unaware You Hold?

What Do You Do When You "Lose" An Identity that was Important to You?

All of these Challenges around Identity Happen.

Frequently.

People are Challenged with their Identity So Often.

But, it becomes More Complicated than this.

Why?

Most Identities are Not Permanent.

How Identities Change

Our Identities Change throughout Our Lives.

Some Change Frequently.

When you Look at Many of the Hardest Challenges that People Face, you'll discover that their Identity is at the Center of the Challenge.

What is a Mid-Life Crisis?

A Change of Identity.

What is the Empty Nest Syndrome?

A Change in Identity.

What about the Depression after a Breakup?

A Change in Identity.

What about the Challenge of being Let Go from a Job You Loved?

A Change in Identity.

But what makes these So Difficult for Us is not the Change in Identity Itself...

Why Identity Changes Become So Difficult

Rather it is the Attachment to the Old Identity...

Mixed with the Fears of what Losing that Identity Means.

We Attempt to Hold Onto an Identity that is No Longer Us.

So, what happens when most people try to Follow the "Common" Advice Here?

They are Still Holding Onto the "Old" Identity...

But it is No Longer "Their" Identity.

They attempt to Be True to Something that is No Longer Them.

Now, if you "Know" Your Identity, then the Advice of Staying True to Yourself can be Great.

However, Most people have Not put enough Work into Understanding their Many Identities

Until You Know "You", then You will "Always" be Misled by this Common Advice.

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Psychophysiological Mastery

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So, something that becomes Important in our Lives is “Discovering” Who We Truly Are.

This Requires Us to Know Our Many Identities.

I mentioned that there are Ten Categories of Identities we have.

The First Nine can be Understood by Creating a Three-By-Three Chart.

I’ll explain these Nine…

Then I’ll Explain the Final Identity which I call the “Core”.

Let’s Dive In…